The Wisdom of the Late Sam Kinison

I just love the term "Emotional Tampon"...

About your exes:

"She says, 'Can't we be still like see each other once in a while and have lunch or see a movie? Just to be friends?' I said 'Yeah, friends, I think I know what you mean. I've become some kind of emotional tampon that you need four or five days a month when no one else will take your f---ing bullshit. But we don't f--k, right? Isn't that what friends is, we don't f--k, right?'"

Why I don't believe in "rehab":

Detox? There's a bargain. $13,000 for a 3 and a half week treatment.And, folks, I don't want to sound like a casual user or anything, but if you can come up with $13,000 you don't have a problem yet!