Sunday, December 10, 2006

Tonight's Bartending...$37 and nearly a room key

Had second best night ever, with two memorable experiences. Oddly enough, it was a major tech company, and usually engineers rank in tippage just above a bat mitzvah. And that's only because 13-year olds can't drink.

Note to novices (and they guy missing half of his front teeth): If you're not sober enough to actually *order* a drink, you won't be served. I amused myself by telling the guy I was "out", and sending him over to another bar.

The highlight of the evening, however, was Room 415 Girl and her new companion Pink Fluffy Streetwalker. PFS is first to arrive; she's hanging at my bar for awhile because she's an attractive woman who came to this party "as a friend" and is being relentlessly hit on by men with seriously inadequate social skills. Thirty seconds later Room 415 Girl shows up, and asks if she can buy an entire bottle of wine from me. Short answer: it's an open bar, but no, you can't take the bottle. Which is when I get the whole fun story :).

So right after I tell her that no, I can't just give her a full bottle of wine, she starts explaining how she's staying the night at the hotel, with her boyfriend that she just broke up with, and she used to be a bartender so she knows "the rules". While she's doing this however, she's also telling me how she's going to give me all her cash as a tip to make this happen. Her cash, of course, is in her bra. I'm standing there grinning my ass off as she's reaching way into her dress to pull out everything she's got tucked in with her boobs. This is a bit of a concentrated effort, and is profoundly amusing. So while I pour her a couple of glasses of wine, she manages to put $37 and her room key on my bar. While she's doing this, there's a heavy exchange going on with PFS. They're discussing how they hate engineers, and then Room 415 makes a nearly disastrous fashion remark. She says the pink puffy sleeves thing is "streetwalker wear". PFS gets insulted, Room 415 profusely apologizes, and this goes on for about 10 minutes while she's got everything she has sitting on my bar, and I'm trying to serve 10 other people on the other side of the bar while watching what goes on here.

During this, the "boyfriend" comes out. Apparently he doesn't realize he's been dumped. I infer that having Room 415 Girl dump him after she's had a few may be a regular occurence. At some point, PFS comes to grip with her inner hooker proclivities. Or the lots of apologies and reference to Pootie Tang.

Finally, Room 415 girl remembers the booze. I pour the remaining wine into glasses she can take with her, as part of the deniablility game of which she knows. She's still got her $37 in cash and her room key sitting on my bar, where it's been since I served the last 10 people to come through. At this point, she gets her 4.1 glasses or cabernet, and while I twice offered her to take back her cash and key and call it a night, I ended up with a $37 tip. I did convince her to put her room key back with her boobs, as she'd need a way into her room.

I only wish the room key had been an invitation...somehow, I don't think the maybe-ex would have appreciated that a couple of hours later.


Blogger Kay said...

Oh my lord, that's fucking rich.
Definitely a night of note.
What ended up happening to Pink Fluffy Streetwalker?

9:21 AM  

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