Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Who the hell do I think I am? (reply to IMAO)


1. Who the hell do you think you are?
Reverend Lick, founder of the Temple of the Holy Spirits (and Tequila)!

2. So, other than blogging, what's your job? Do you work at some fast food joint, dumbass?
Fly for the Navy, and as soon as I can sell my house, moving to Austin (the land of milk and honey) to be an American Express Financial Advisor.

3. Do you have like any experience in journalism, idiot?
No, but I do have 12 years of experience in drinking a lot and ending up in strange situations. Oh wait, I think I did a stint in the school newspaper in junior high. Although a lot of those braincells did not survive the Great Purge of 1997.

4. Do you even read newspapers?
That's where the funnies are, right?

5. Do you watch any other news than FOX News propaganda, you ignorant fool?
Why would I? They have the hottest anchor chicks.

6. I bet you're some moron talk radio listener too, huh?
Too boring.

7. So, do you get a fax from the GOP each day for what to say, you @#$% Republican parrot?
I only pay attention if it's from "the twins".

8. Why do you and your blogger friends want to silence and fire everyone who disagrees with you, fascist?
Hey, at least we're not picking on the gay kid.

9. Are you completely ignorant of other countries, or do you actually own a passport?
Actually, I've got two. German beer is the best I've ever had. Can't wait to go to Scotland again. Spain has some incredibly gorgeous women. The Greeks makes some good food, and also some frickin' potent moonshine. Ecuador is cheap and fun, Costa Rica is not quite as cheap with much better accomodations, and Puerto Rico sucks ass.

10. Have you even been to another country, you dumb hick?
I make regular visits ot the State of Intoxication, and State of Undress.

11. If you're so keen on the war, why haven't you signed up, chickenhawk?
Been in the Navy 8 years, war is great for business! It keeps Congress giving us cool toys to play with. And kill people.

12. Do you have any idea of the horrors of war? Have you ever reached into a pile of goo that was your best friend's face?
No, we try to avoid vomiting...and usually aim it downward, or at least into the bushes.

13. Have you ever reached into any pile of goo?
After a particularly bad night, I've occasionally woken up in them.

14. Once again, who the hell do you think you are?!
The guy you're buying a drink...Glenlivet, on the rocks. And make it a double.


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