Friday, December 10, 2004

Loser Engineer Takes Home Homeless Chick

So, since it was Thursday, went to my Irish pub downtown for a pint of Guinness. I'd been standing at the bar for about 30 seconds, watching Dane The Bartender talking to some guy, and was getting impatient, "Stop talking to that guy and start pouring my beer, already, dammit!!!"

So I wander into the conversation, which is Loser Engineer, a guy who's single and about 40, and Dane talking about one of those trick-problems. Loser Engineer has succeeded in completely counfounding Dane. I solve the problem immediately, but Loser Engineer keeps going on about it and won't listen or provide his own solution. Even worse, it's sort of a math/dollars thing.

Sitting next to Loser Engineer is Mia the Homeless Chick. She wanders into the bar whenever Dane's working, but orders nothing. Loser Engineer was buying her O'Douls. Last I saw her was about a month ago, when Dane gave her a ride at 4am to the homeless shelter.

I was about annoyed and out of entertainment, but decided to order another beer anyway. About this time, Loser Engineer pays his considerable tab, and walks out...with Homeless Chick!

Last seen: walking across the street holding hands. Awww, isn't Loser Love sweet?

LIFE UPDATE: So continued drinking, found out I was not actually banned from the bar I puked in, ran into the Cheetah's door girl bartending at yet another bar, and eventually departed for Cheetah's...again.

This time, I got picked up. "Baby" aka "Kimberly" actually offers me a 2-for-1, and proceeds to ask me out to dinner in the middle of it. What is it with me and strippers??? She's OK, but been blowing her off everytime I've been in.

In other news, there's a possibility I might actually see Erin again now that she's gotten her move mostly straightened out, Xelena's cell phone is back in service, and Sarah The Stripper's is out.

Then I woke up at 1:45pm. Missed my boss's going away luncheon by about 3 hours. I suck.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Dude... loved the story about you barfing all over the rest-room! You got it everywhere, right? And I agree with you... you didn't like the management there anyway, right?

Oh, wait a minute. I don't think 'management' actually has to clean restrooms... so some poor schlub actually had to clean up your vomit... oh well. Serves him right for being a loser! Next time, you could take a crap on the floor too!! That would be *really* funny!!!!

P.S. About Iron Fist. He has all the signs of a sub-dom, if you're into that kind of stuff!!!! Have you seen his picture? All he needs is a mouth gag and a hood!!!

10:30 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have a question -- how do you get around all these places you drink at? I'm guessing that you walk or take cabs? I mean, no way would you be driving in that condition?

11:36 AM  
Blogger Rev. Lick said...

Flying trapeze. Not only is it quick, but there are rarely any traffic jams.

Seriously, this ain't NYC. Also, all the bars downtown are within a 3-block radius. You also have no idea what, in reality, "that condition" actually is.

When I'm "out", I'm generally a socially responsible drinker. Count my beers and subtract by hours, etc. You generally can't generate stories like this by being slobbering drunk. I save that for afterwards when I'm safely home for the night ;).

12:51 AM  

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