Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Fetish: Slave Leia

This is just too luscious...saw this first picture on Flickr, then followed links to the Slave Leia site. One of my personal faves: Melissa Joan Hart wearing the metal bikini.

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Eve-l Bitch Watch III

Dammit, I'm about to have to break out the Roman Numeral "V" here in the Evil Bitch Watch series, and that just can't be good. Sooo... I didn't quite get a chance to cut off the old cell phone before I left for NYC, and got back to a few random messages. No biggie. I was thinking of cutting it off that night, when not two hours after I landed, it rang, and this came in from the Evil One, Summer's Eve:

Hey, good news, you are going to want to offer me congratulations!
And I will be, umm, in your neck of the woods pretty soon.... I'm getting
married, and I will actually be living out there, where you are...umm, actually,
pretty close. Umm, you're welcome to give me a call, if you'd
like...otherwise, umm, we might be seeing each other pretty soon. I will
talk to you when I talk to you, I hope you're doing well; bye.

Seeing each other soon? No, we won't.

Good news? Congratulations? Fuck no, but allow me to offer my most sincere condolences to the poor bastard you tricked into saying vows with you. And by the word "saying", I'm well aware that your "everlasting promises" are nothing but empty air. To Evil Bitch, "for better or worse" really means, "as long as I'm getting what I want, and until I get bored." The obvious next question is, Why on earth is she calling me?

Confidential to Poor Bastard: Your intended, mere weeks or so before your wedding, has spent the last year and a half repeatedly trying to contact an ex who has refused to talk to her for the last several years. Why the fuck is she calling this guy? What does that say about her mental health and the relative status of your relationship? Run! Now!

Unfortunately, I can't find any independent evidence out there to support something like this, or find more details about a destination, but there is reason to believe she still thinks I live in Corpus. I told her I was moving in one of those emails that made her cry, but I believe I was careful not to include a destination. Still....

So, readers, is it time for me to waste the time of writing a "here's what I really think of you" email, or just let it all pass?

Haiku: My Last Night In NYC...for now.

Subway is flooded
Sprinting Queens for unknown bus
Nice cleavage, Map Girl.