Thursday, July 28, 2005

Ask Rev. Lick: I think I saw a stripper at her day job

Over at Wizbang, Jay Tea writes:

Recently, while attending a Place Of Adult Entertainment, I thought I recognized one of the Entertainers. I am 99% certain she works for Generic Big Stodgy Company, and I occasionally have dealings with her through my day job at Generic Big Company. But while I might get a little grief for attending Place Of Adult Entertainment, I am quite certain she would be in a world more trouble for working at Place Of Adult Entertainment while also holding down a job at Generic Big Stodgy Company.

My dilemma is this: I always thought her attractive, but never enough beyond her appearance drew me in. And if this is indeed the same lady, I was definitely right in my thoughts about her physical appeal. How do I acknowledge my meeting her there at her day job? How do I reassure her I have absolutely no intention of "outing" her to the daytime employer? Or do I simply pretend I don't connect "M" of Place Of Adult Entertainment with "J" of Generic Big Stodgy Company?
I've actually been in this position several times, as well as having dated a few "dancers". The answer depends upon your intentions/aspirations toward her, and how much you actually see her at her day job. Further research is definitely required, and the only place to ask her about this would be inside the POAE. But IGNORE those people who are telling you to tip big! That is absolutely the worst thing you can do!

The right way to do this would be to go into the POAE fairly early in the evening...say, about 9pm if she works nights. Late in the night is not good as the women become more interested in raking in as much cash in as little time as possible. When you see her on stage, tip her several times (singles), at least 3-4 if possible. On the last time tell her to come see you and tell her where you're sitting.

Then wait for her to show up. You need to be extremely cool, relaxed, and present the attitude that you're just there to relax and enjoy the show. When she comes over, you need to get her to sit down and talk. If she asks you if "you'd like a dance" instead of "do you want company?", then tease her for getting straight to the action.

Most importantly, get her talking as much about her life as you can. You will want to get a dance, maybe two at most, so that she doesn't feel like you're completely wasting her time, and tipping $5-10 would be appropriate and fine. But do not go overboard!

Hopefully while you're talking you'll be able to broach the "day job" subject and find out for sure, but remember the idea here is to be really cool about everything. Then she'll think you're a cool person and if you happen to run across each other in the "real world", it won't be awkward at all.
But DO NOT THROW LOTS OF MONEY AT HER! That's the biggest sign of a non-cool guy, and will cause her to lose respect for you and just see you as an easy mark. And if she is the girl at the Day Job, it will be that much more weird.

Did I write this?

...I probably could have, and certainly have the credentials for it.

The Onion: I Am A Fucked-Up Chick Magnet.

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

I always go with the better looking women

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Making a "me"

Granted it's one of the crappiest of these sort of things, and I had to "fix" the HTML just to get it to show up here, but since it is about drinking...

How to make a Rev. Lick

3 parts pride

3 parts silliness

3 parts energy
Add to a cocktail shaker and mix vigorously. Add a little lustfulness if desired!

Sunday, July 24, 2005

What decade is your inner child?

Well this is thoroughly unsurprising...

what decade does your personality live in?

quiz brought to you by lady interference, ltd

Saturday, July 23, 2005

How To Avoid Leaving My House At 3:51 am

If you decide you're not going to call me, then don't call me back.
If you do decide to call me back, don't meet up with me that night.
If you do decide to go get drinks with me that night, don't just come over to my place first.
If you do decide to come over to my place first, then don't come back in at the end of the evening.
If you do decide to come in at the end of the evening, don't be surprised when you leave with a huge smile at 3:51am.

In other news, the house, a new shirt, and the Captian Morgan Tatoo (which is very good) have all been officially christened.

Spam Mail Funnies

So I saw this title : Amaze your partner with talents in sexual area!
...and thought it might lead me to some interesting Asian porn...instead I got this:

I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it.
Poetry comes nearer to vital truth than history.
Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.
If it were not for injustice, men would not know justice.

Thursday, July 21, 2005

The Freakonomics of Love: my response to David

Just discovered the Liberty Belles' blog, through their original post on The Freakonomics of Love. Check them out, there's a few other related entries, but I wanted to respond to the latest entrant, David's The Economics of 'Girl Vibe', wherein he ponders the question, "Why do women flirt with me more when I've got a girlfriend?"

Good are excerpts:

I’ve recently committed myself to the girl I’ve been seeing, and an interesting phenomenon has begun occurring: women are suddenly much more eager to flirt with me now than when I was single. This has been the case with all my previous relationships and it holds true again. Girl Vibe is the phenomenon that causes men to suddenly become exponentially more attractive once they find themselves in committed relationships. Ironically, when men are trying the hardest to (desperately) attract a mate [1], interested women are at an apparent shortage, but the moment a pair-bond is formed, women are instantly all-too-eager to express their interest.

There are actually two different questions that need to be addressed here. The first is, why are men more attractive when they are in a relationship? [2] The second is, what do women hope to achieve through flirting with these unavailable men? To answer these questions, I will assume a market for men, with women constituting demand.

Before we can understand why men are more attractive when unavailable, we must separate all men into two categories: gentlemen and assholes. Gentlemen and assholes look alike and act alike.[3] In fact, when both types of commodities are on the market, there is no way for women to tell gentleman from assholes at all. Both types of men will doll themselves up in an effort to attract a mate by putting their best traits forward. Only an owner (girlfriend) of one of these commodi-men will know if she possesses a gentleman or an asshole. She will want to hold on to the former and dispose of the latter. [4] Because most assholes get scrapped, the market of available men disproportionably fills with assholes [5] as all the gentlemen are bought up and enter into exclusivity contracts.

So the second question is why flirt with men who are not on the market in the first place? Assuming loyalty to be one of the traits that women find attractive in men, we can eliminate the possibility of a boyfriend-buyout. Any man who leaves or cheats on his owner becomes instantly less attractive, so the flirtatious girl doesn’t actually want her wiles to bear fruit[6]. Of course, there will always be women who wish to steal men away from their owners, but I believe these women to be the exception rather than the rule. Few women enjoy being home-wreckers.

Honestly, I'm not exactly sure what David's conclusion is, but it seems to be that the flirty girls are just doing it for the practice. They get to be a tease without much risk of ruining their reputation in the (meat-market.

I've got to heartily disagree with David, but do agree with commenters Neal and Jules who beat me to part of my response.

My responses based on the green notations above:

1. As said, before, "desperation" is the surest way to scare off even other desperate people. It is one of the singularly most unattractive traits/behaviors available in the meat-market. As soon as a "gentleman" is in a commited relationship, he is no longer desperate, and thus does not act or seem desperate to others, thus upping is attractiveness exponentially.

2. Pretty much covered by above...the man in question is more attractive because he is not searching for anything from the women he meets. He has made himself a much scarcer, and thus more valuable, commodity by removing himself from the open market.

3, 4, & 5. Wrong on all accounts! The meat market is disproportionately filled with "Nice guys who can't get laid", because assholes do not act like gentlemen. For all their negative qualities, assholes exhibit far more 'Attraction' than most gentlemen...and by that I mean that despite their flaws, women find assholes more sexually arousing than gentlemen (nice guys) because, on average, assholes are more self-confident, less desperate, less approval-seeking, and generally more "manly" than the gentlemen. Assholes stay on the meat-market longer and more often because they have more "Attraction points", and thus are usually less desperate when outside of a committed relationship. To redefine our terms a bit here, I would say that the meat-market is disproportionately filled with Nice Guys and Assholes(who rarely leave the market), and the rarer commodity is the Gentleman-a nice guy that can get laid, one who has as much Attraction as an Asshole without the downsides.

6. I am sure there is a lot of mere "flirting for practice/fun", but David fails to take into account a couple of phenomena I've witnessed. I call them "Catty Competition" and the "I'm Not The Fat Girl Phenomenon."

To answer David's second question in the more innocuous sense, women know that men are still potentially available after they have left the open meat-market, and may re-enter the meat-market again with little notice. The Seductress("buyer") in question is usually speculating on limited information, and assumes that since the man in question is in a relationship, that he must be worth having and is one of the scarce Gentlemen, as opposed to an abusive Asshole or boring Nice Guy. If there's no ring, it's not home-wrecking. Just because she missed him in the primary offering, she may be able to lure him away with a higher bid in the secondary market, or may even be able to position herself to acquire him immediately should he re-enter the primary meat-market.

However, much of this also depends on intra-dynamics in the Women's Game, which I call "Catty Competition". Women as a group are generally catty towards each other, and constantly in competition for being seen as the prettiest or sexiest or whatever. Think of it as bidders at an auction who may not know each other personally, but enjoy outbidding another and taking what the other wants, just for the pure schadenfreude. Women care a lot about how many Attraction Points they have compared to other women. Being able to lure away a taken man automatically increases the Seductress' Attraction Points, and places her above his current girlfriend (at least in her mind). In the Catty Competition, this may have nothing to do with the desirability of the man in question as he is just used a pawn in the Women's Game between the Girlfriend and the Seductress. The "I'm Not The Fat Girl Phenomenon" is a special case of the Catty Competition, which occurs when there is a sizable excess of women-to-men in a relatively closed environment, such as a college campus. Once the ratios approach or exceed about 60/40 women to men, women will tend to 'pay' much more than they otherwise would for any given man in the open meat-market, and the secondary market comes much more into play. Having/getting any man in these adverse market conditions validates the women's Attraction Points in the Women's Game...thus proving to themselves that they are still attractive and not one of the 'fat girls'.

(If you haven't read Freakonomics yet, hie thee to the bookstore! It's incredibly fascinating, and a very quick read.)

Friday, July 15, 2005

Eve-l Bitch Watch II

She's baa-aack!

Through some unknown means, Evel Bitch (horrid and vile ex-fiancee) seems to know when I've got some big life change going on that is someway related to her, even in passing 3 years later. That is, 3 years after I started refusing to talk to her and have only responded with 3-4 emails that made her cry. Here's the background: Evel Bitch Post 1.

The latest: Calls started coming in around Easter, which was the real start of my move. Then I got another series around Father's Day while I was visiting my sis...the messages left were a long 'Oh, so nice to hear your voice again' rant like we were still old friends, and another one implying that I had something that she needed. [To that one, no, I don't...nearly everything related to her was either sold, or discarded.] The connection? At the time, I'd just gotten my new cell phone with an Austin number, which she will never get from me...therefore having no idea where I am, or any way to call me. The calls started coming in the day before I was going to change the outgoing message on the old phone to "My new number is _." They haven't stopped, either. I just got a few new calls over the 4th weekend, and one a few days ago.

The only reason I haven't disconnected the phone yet is because there are some logistical issues that I need settled before I can really cut it getting my furniture here. [should be next week.] I was going to do it before the next billing cycle, but that's tomorrow. Yet I realized, to my shock and horror, that part of me is actually hesitant because in some twisted way, I am curious as to what she'll do next, and what this is all about.

Obviously, that part must be crushed.

So does anyone out there have a good idea on how to really kill an unwanted and strange psychic connection?

Thursday, July 14, 2005

One Legged P0rn

Rev. Lick returns to blogging with the wrongest site I've seen in quite awhile.

(if you didn't get the idea from the title, this link is extremely NSFW)